If Things Had gone Differently
by diehard draco hermione
Summary: “Most (if not all) of you reading this know my personality from my first two years attending Hogwarts, but what if i were to tell you that a lot of that personality started to change completely within the first few months of my 3rd year?”
1. ch1

If Things Had Gone Differently…

Summary: "Most (if not all) of you reading this know my personality from my first two years attending Hogwarts, but what if i were to tell you that a lot of that personality started to change completely within the first few months of my 3rd year?"

Chapter 1: intro.

A/n: okay, im writing this as if none of the books had been written after the 3rd one. So just bare with me… this is a story I had to write to make myself feel better… and will have to keep writing to make sure I keep feeling okay. So, don't read it if you don't want too. But I'd really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot… and maybe if I have any original characters.

Ever find yourself passing time by unknowingly staring off into space, thinking about nothing and everything all at once; realizing that you're feeling so many emotions at once, that you feel absolutely nothing and your body goes numb? Ever feel like you should be sad or worried about something, but for some reason the only thing your mind can push to feel about that is being apathetic; or knowing you're upset about something, but for some reason, your body just goes numb so you can't cry or feel those emotions anymore? What about being happy because someone finally pushed things aside in your mind, and actually made you smile; but then someone else does or says the smallest and most insignificant thing , that brings back the memory of your sorrow. Despite how much your mind wants you to break down and cry right there, your body gets a mind of its own and makes it so the only thing you can feel is nothing; just a complete void of emotion, and all you want is for that void to go away. Because feeling nothing, is even more of a burden on your heart than feeling all of the pain and sadness you were before; because now, there's absolutely nothing you can do or think to lift so much as an ounce of that weight. Ever feel like that? What about all of the previously mentioned at the exact same time? Well, I have; in fact, I've felt that exact way every day for about 6 months now. And since the day I started feeling that way, I've done so many things to try and escape it; but every time it only ends with me feeling the exact same way, the weight getting heavier and heavier each time, and me getting more desperate to try and find a way to escape. But I guess I should introduce myself before I just go on and tell you what's happening.

Hi. My name is Hermione Jane Granger, and I am currently 15 years old, and am in the last 9 weeks of my 4th school year attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Most (if not all) of you reading this know my personality from my first two years attending Hogwarts, but what if I were to tell you that a lot of that personality started to change completely within the first few months of my 3rd year? You already know how everything happened that year from Harry's point of view, so for now, I'm going to focus on what happened and what changed me and my thought process that neither Harry nor Ron have found out about, even to this day. They know I've changed, and I tell them what's going on now… but that didn't start until the beginning of this year, and they STILL don't know WHAT changed me. Only one person does. The one person I tell everything. Ginny Weasley.

A/N: please review if you read this. I really would like to know what you think. I have the second chapter completely written up and m currently working on typing it up. So when I get at least 5 reviews, I'll post the next chapter. Ttyl!


	2. chapter 2

If Things Had Gone Differently…

Summary: "Most (if not all) of you reading this know my personality from my first two years attending Hogwarts, but what if i were to tell you that a lot of that personality started to change completely within the first few months of my 3rd year?"

Chapter 2

A/n: okay, im writing this as if none of the books had been written after the 3rd one. So just bare with me… this is a story I had to write to make myself feel better… and will have to keep writing to make sure I keep feeling okay. So, don't read it if you don't want too. But I'd really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot… and maybe if I have any original characters.

Despite the fact that I had had a crush on Ronald for going on 3 years, in the last week of September, I realized something. He knew how long I had liked him, and I knew he liked me; but for some reason, he just wouldn't ask me out. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep pushing my feelings for other people aside because I was still waiting for Ron. But, obviously, this realization didn't just fall from the sky. I had recently been forced to work on a project with none other than Draco Malfoy in my Ancient Runes class; and despite how much he teased em, and all the names he called me, I still found myself developing romantic feelings for him.

"Ginny, you can help me out and keep a secret, right?" Of coarse, Ginny was the first person I consulted about my predicament.

"Do you really even have to ask, Hermione?"

"Okay…" I took and deep breath and started rambling on to my best friend about what my problem was. And, since we were in the Gryffindor common room, you're probably wondering why I wasn't worried about anyone else over-hearing and finding out. Well, in all honesty, I was talking so fast that nobody, other than Ginny of coarse, would have understood what I was saying anyway. I tend to talk fairly fast when I get nervous, and since I always went to Ginny when I was nervous, she learned to understand what I was saying with some time. Anyway, I explained to her why I was in such a dilemma That I wasn't supposed to like him because so many of my friends hated him so much; but I couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to further explore my feelings for him.

"So basically, you want me to tell Malfoy you like him, and if you end up dating, you want me to make sure that no one finds out. Am I correct?" Ginny pulled me aside so that way no one would hear what she was saying, and so that no one would see how bloody bad I was blushing at hearing my problem said out loud by someone else.

Next thing I knew, I was in Ancient Runes the next day and Malfoy just randomly popped out and asked my out like it was no big deal. And honestly, the next three weeks were awesome. We would meet up in the kitchen for lunch on the weekends, and he would flirt with me in public by continuing to call me names, but he made the flirting part subtle. Unfortunately, all that anyone saw of me the day that Malfoy and I hit 3 weeks was me running out of the kitchen to go cry on Ginny's shoulder.

For the next two weeks, all I did as cry; and when I wasn't crying, I was either talking to Ginny or I was burying myself in work (deeper than usual) to take my mind off of things. Until I found out WHY he broke up with me, that is. Or more of, the only reason he DID date me. He was trying to get Pansy Parkinson jealous by spending more time with me, her enemy. So not only did he USE me, the Slytherins knew we had gone out, and they had the chance to tell Harry and Ron. That was one of my biggest fears. Dating Draco Malfoy was the biggest mistake I ever made, and he's the reason I changed. Why do you think it felt so good when I slapped him?

A/N: please review if you read this. I really would like to know what you think. I'm working on the next chapter and I'll get it up as soon as I can after I get another 5 reviews. Thank-you very much!


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